The Most-of-time movie for me is...

My mom and I are huge fans of the Manila Film Fest films but I've just got to say that last year's entries weren't even worth.. well.. to be entries in that Film Fest. The MFF's standards have declined and it's such a hug pity.

There was this one movie that my mom and I watched. We heard that Caesar Montano won the Best Actor award for it, so, being self-dubbed movie critics, we watched.

The film was called Ligalig which means "to shake" in english. My mom and I had no idea that this film was actually a horror film. We were scared, yes, but not in the same sense as the objective of the movie. We were frightened by the sexually explicit content that present in every scene, the lack of a story-line, the pathetic attempt of the camera work to convey a sense of fear (because most of the time, the camera would have shaking and "disturbed" shots that was kind of cool at first but then lost its appeal after some time, because it was used in almost every scene so it just left you dizzy and frustrated), and the bad acting. Right in the middle of the film, I was so tempted to walk out because I couldn't understand anything. The story line, as well as having a lack of complex plotting- which should be the case since this movie was supposed to be a psychological horror film- was extremely vague. I wasn't drawn in by the film and found myself, most of the time, thinking about something else other than the film.

It's not a very good film. I couldn't believe that Cesar Montano really won an award for that. It just goes to show where Philippine Media is going these days. Just to add, I found out at the end of the movie, during the rolling of the credits- yes, I stayed the whole time and I regretted it so much... my mom made us stay because she didn't want to waste the ticket- that this film was extremely low budget. It tried so hard to bo one of those low-budget but really good indie films but it just didn't make it. His wife played leading lady and his brother played as the protagonist while he played the villain.

It was honestly a waste of time and money. Don't watch it.

Favorite Movie

To be honest, I don't think I have a favorite movie... I have a bazzilion favorite movies! But if I had to choose an ultimate favorite, I would go with a Disney movie and say Sleeping Beauty. Yes, Walt Disney's Sleeping Beauty.

I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream...

I first watched Sleeping Beauty when I was four years old. I didn't really understand it then but the movie became a quick favorite because of the silliness of the three fairies and the super entertaining "magic scenes" (i.e the party preparation scene in their cottage in the woods). After watching it recently though, I discovered much more about the film. It did not only have that for-children quality, but because of the complexity of all of the characters (Prince Philllip was the typical coming of age son who did not want the responsibility of running his father's kingdom, Princess Aurora who played the typically innocent girl who, because of her ignorance and the over-bearing protection of the fairies, is lured by Melificent to touch the deadly spindle, the fairies who dealt with "friendship" issues because Merryweather thought that Fiona was just too bossy, Melificent who just can't get over the past), the richness of the animation (I really loved the quality of the old Disney movies beacuse they had a richness in color and the drawings looked more real than the new Disney movies today), the consistency of the mise-en-scene and the editing, the clear screenplay and finally the sophistication of the musical score, I was able to appreciate it all the more.

For me, the old Disney movies would always be the best. They have the magic to bring out the child in everyone.

For Mr. Postman

Dear Mom,

Hey mom. I know this must be EXTREMELY unexpected but by the time you get this letter, I'd already be gone. I'm sorry. Please don't cry. Wasn't it you who always said that we never really know when its our time to go which is why we have to be ready? Well, its MY time and I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be... but I have to leave this first. Funny isn't it? I'm leaving on the day of my La Salle Entrance Test.. haha... oh well... I guess La Salle was never meant for me.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for all things I've done and everything else that I haven't done. I'm sorry for all the times I snapped back and said all those hurtful words to you. You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry for letting every single day pass without showing my apprecaition for everything that you've done. You didn't deserve that either. I know this apology was long overdue. I'm sorry for that too. I just didn't have the guts to do it earlier, I think it was a pride thing. But it's incredibly important that you know now. I want you to know that I'm sorry (as if I haven't said that enough already) and that I love you even if I wasn't always there to show it. I love you. You have no idea how much those words weigh right now.

Mom, I have a favor to ask. Can you please tell dad that I love him? Tell dad that I never hated him, that I understood everything.. why he said those things and why he acted that way. Please tell him that I only acted out sometimes because I couldn't take it anymore. Please PLEASE tell him that I love him so much... that was the only thing that helped me to bottle everything that, at times, I just wanted to lash out at him. Tell him also, how sorry I am that I didn't turn out to be the perfect daughter he always pictured me to be. Tell him that I knew that... that I knew deep down that he wanted that. Tell him I'm sorry that I just didn't come out like that. Tell him that I'm sorry I didn't want to be a doctor or a champion swimmer. Make him understand and again, give him all my love.

Can you also tell Andy, Jeryl and Jian how much I loved them. Tell them that I didn't mean to lash out at them either.It was either me or dad and I thought that it would be better if it was I, who would get mad and pick at their little mistakes, before dad did. You know how dad is. Tell them that I love them and I would just die if they were in my place right now. Oh, and tell Andy how sorry I am that I didn't make our date.

Please tell Lolo and Lola how much I love them also. It was better this way. I couldn't handle it if they went before me. This way, I could prepare a place for them in Heaven. So they understand, tell them about my nightmares. Tell them how, at some nights, when I get to remember my dreams, I wake up screaming and crying because one of them died.

Tell Mama Nita that I'm sorry for leaving so soon because we weren't able to get to know each other that long. Tell her that I want to thank her though for finally making what I've been praying for come true. Please show her the essay, I wrote. And tell her that I love her too.

And for all my friends, Tina, Bianca, Abbey, Mon, Sylvia, Roxanne, Nicole, Magoo, Mariel, Ange and Bea, give them my love. Tell them that I thank God for every single day that I'm alive just because they were all in it. Tell them how much of a difference they made and how important they were to me. Tell them that this was not the way I pictured my leaving the world, tell them that I imagined taking a bullet for each and everyone of them. That was how important they were to me. Please give them each a hug too.

I know what your thinking. Of course I didn't forget that person. I know that you know. We didn't spend all those late nights laughing about nothing, Mom. Can you just please tell that person thatI'm not mad. But make that person understand that I wouldn't have had it any other way. Things worked out for the best and I'm glad that things are just like this. Tell that person how grateful I am for all fun and laughter that we shared. It somehow changed me and helped me realize some things about myself that I would never have known on my own.

Thanks mom. If I get the chance, I'll tell you how Heaven looks like. I love you.

Janine

P.S - Can you please give the following people a hug for me: Katrina, Carissa, Abbey, Tina, Bea O, Tracy, Karla, Danix and Valro

Who am I?

This question has got to be the most over-used philosophical query on the face of the planet. However, no matter how scratched up this question is, it still surprises me how different my answers get everytime I get asked "Who are you.... really?" It's not that I do a complete 180 during the intervals between the third time I was asked and the fourth, it's just that my answers get longer everytime. I guess it's because, like all teenagers who are on the eve of starting life, I learn more about myself, about what I like, don't like, can do, can't do, rejoice in and get scared of.

So... who am I now?

I took a personality test months back. I never really believed that those things actually worked but that one test apparently did. Results were surprisingly (and creepily) accurate. And when I thought about it, it made sense. I was, according to that test, "a melancholic phlegmatic".

A melancholic person is basically one of the artsy fartsy types. If you watch teenage movies with the blatant stereotyping of highchool students, I would probably fit into the group that wears all black and hangs out in Starbucks while reading Shakespeare. Haha. Well... that IS me but only to a certain extent. I do love to read. I love to daydream and muse on life's little trivialities and ironies (I find ironies so funny). I like coffee shops because I find them so toasty and comfy (plus they smell of roasted coffee beans). I do not like to conform. I like being alone most of the time... with a book. And yes, I do own a black beret and a black turtleneck. Haha. Of course the last one does not prove anything.

Now, I'm also phlegmatic. Going back to highschool stereotyping, those who are phlegmatic are most likely the "bums" in the highschool body. They are those who cram and are well... pretty much lazy. I know that to those who know me, might disagree with the fact that I am "bum-my". Well, like any normal human being, I can get "bum-my" once in a while. Like most, people there are times that I would prefer to sit in front of a tv and space out rather than do something productive. Haha.

Of course, my personality is not caged in by these two stereotypic characteristics. C'mon, give me some credit. I'm really more complex than that.

I love to laugh and look at the brighter side of things (hence the Haha's inserted above) . I'm generally a happy person. I love caring for people, especially those whom I hold dear. I tend to protect those whom I care about. If you happen to mess with them, you answer to me :). Of course, the worst I could really do is to just not talk to you. I'm not much of a fighter. Haha. But I really do protect, my family and friends, if I REALLY REALLY have to. I love to make super-babaw jokes. I like making situations lighter because they become more enjoyable to me and to others who happen to share in it. I like to give hugs. I like things in their simplicity because I find that simple things are the most beautiful things to look at since they display something that is truly their own. I love it when I see people go out of their way for the sake of others. I revel in charity. It gives me heebeejeebies to see someone show that they care enough to help. I find unselfishness extremely beautiful. I am deathly terrified of microphones, the reasons for which I am not sure I would like to expose. I kind of expect a lot from people. I know it's a bit wrong to have standards that high... it's just that I tend to look for the good of people to the extent that I totally ignore their flaws and because of that it's a bit hard for me to remember that everyone is not perfect. I guess, in this way, you can call me naive. Yes, I am terribly naive. I like to believe that the world IS made out of lollipops and cotton candy. Of course, I know it's not. It's a way for me to cope, I think, with harsh realities. I'm dellusional, I know.

Anyways, going back... I'm a sentimental fool. I love the sappiness that comes with love. I'm of the mushy sort. I believe in soul-mates and true love. Of course, I haven't found it yet. Haha. I fear the Lord. I believe in eternal life. I love candid moments because I find that they are the most truthful things I can get out this world. I love to cook and I'm working on being good at it. I plan to join Iron Chef :) Haha. I'm kidding of course. I'm pretty much ecclectic when it comes to music, books, food and art. I don't like limiting myself to a certain genre. I like to find something beautiful in everything... yeah... but I guess you already knew that. Haha. I love the night and I hate the sun. I know it sounds a bit goth-ish but my reason for it is anything but. I like the night just because it's prettier than the day. I would willingly trade the luminescent full moon and her twinkling stars for the sun any day... Haha... forgive my pun. Let's see... what else? I'm traditional. I still believe that guys should formally court a girl. I believe that guys should still make harana when wooing a girl. I believe that guys should still ask a girl's father before he marries the girl. I believe that guys should still write love letters to effectively get a girl to fall for them... Haha. I don't think beauty is based on the outside. I believe that beauty isn't skin deep because I know that there must be more to a person than his/her looks. I think that hope is very healthy. I believe that the eyes are the windows to the person's soul. I believe in the independence of a woman (I'm a bit of a feminist too... teehee). I'd rather be swamped with things to do rather than be bored out of my wits.

So there. This is pretty much me in a nutshell. But like I said earlier, this isn't ALL of me yet. Ask me this question again in a couple of years and maybe I would have all the answers. As of right now, I'm still looking for the rest of me.

A little intro :D

Wow. I never imagined in a million years that I would be posting a blog. It feels so strange to write something that everyone can READ. Haha. Plus, I'm not really into these kinds of faddish things, blogs being one of them. Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not against fads... I like them. It's fun to watch how short-lived something "in" could be. Haha. You might be wondering then, since I'm not writing this for personal reasons, why I am writing in this blog in the first place. Well, it's a requirement for our Composition class. How cool is that? Of course, my fellow batchmates know all about this already but for your benefit, if you are not part of batch 2007 or in any way part of the Woodrose Highschool faculty, then there you go... this blog is for classroom purposes only.