Who am I?
This question has got to be the most over-used philosophical query on the face of the planet. However, no matter how scratched up this question is, it still surprises me how different my answers get everytime I get asked "Who are you.... really?" It's not that I do a complete 180 during the intervals between the third time I was asked and the fourth, it's just that my answers get longer everytime. I guess it's because, like all teenagers who are on the eve of starting life, I learn more about myself, about what I like, don't like, can do, can't do, rejoice in and get scared of.
So... who am I now?
I took a personality test months back. I never really believed that those things actually worked but that one test apparently did. Results were surprisingly (and creepily) accurate. And when I thought about it, it made sense. I was, according to that test, "a melancholic phlegmatic".
A melancholic person is basically one of the artsy fartsy types. If you watch teenage movies with the blatant stereotyping of highchool students, I would probably fit into the group that wears all black and hangs out in Starbucks while reading Shakespeare. Haha. Well... that IS me but only to a certain extent. I do love to read. I love to daydream and muse on life's little trivialities and ironies (I find ironies so funny). I like coffee shops because I find them so toasty and comfy (plus they smell of roasted coffee beans). I do not like to conform. I like being alone most of the time... with a book. And yes, I do own a black beret and a black turtleneck. Haha. Of course the last one does not prove anything.
Now, I'm also phlegmatic. Going back to highschool stereotyping, those who are phlegmatic are most likely the "bums" in the highschool body. They are those who cram and are well... pretty much lazy. I know that to those who know me, might disagree with the fact that I am "bum-my". Well, like any normal human being, I can get "bum-my" once in a while. Like most, people there are times that I would prefer to sit in front of a tv and space out rather than do something productive. Haha.
Of course, my personality is not caged in by these two stereotypic characteristics. C'mon, give me some credit. I'm really more complex than that.
I love to laugh and look at the brighter side of things (hence the Haha's inserted above) . I'm generally a happy person. I love caring for people, especially those whom I hold dear. I tend to protect those whom I care about. If you happen to mess with them, you answer to me :). Of course, the worst I could really do is to just not talk to you. I'm not much of a fighter. Haha. But I really do protect, my family and friends, if I REALLY REALLY have to. I love to make super-babaw jokes. I like making situations lighter because they become more enjoyable to me and to others who happen to share in it. I like to give hugs. I like things in their simplicity because I find that simple things are the most beautiful things to look at since they display something that is truly their own. I love it when I see people go out of their way for the sake of others. I revel in charity. It gives me heebeejeebies to see someone show that they care enough to help. I find unselfishness extremely beautiful. I am deathly terrified of microphones, the reasons for which I am not sure I would like to expose. I kind of expect a lot from people. I know it's a bit wrong to have standards that high... it's just that I tend to look for the good of people to the extent that I totally ignore their flaws and because of that it's a bit hard for me to remember that everyone is not perfect. I guess, in this way, you can call me naive. Yes, I am terribly naive. I like to believe that the world IS made out of lollipops and cotton candy. Of course, I know it's not. It's a way for me to cope, I think, with harsh realities. I'm dellusional, I know.
Anyways, going back... I'm a sentimental fool. I love the sappiness that comes with love. I'm of the mushy sort. I believe in soul-mates and true love. Of course, I haven't found it yet. Haha. I fear the Lord. I believe in eternal life. I love candid moments because I find that they are the most truthful things I can get out this world. I love to cook and I'm working on being good at it. I plan to join Iron Chef :) Haha. I'm kidding of course. I'm pretty much ecclectic when it comes to music, books, food and art. I don't like limiting myself to a certain genre. I like to find something beautiful in everything... yeah... but I guess you already knew that. Haha. I love the night and I hate the sun. I know it sounds a bit goth-ish but my reason for it is anything but. I like the night just because it's prettier than the day. I would willingly trade the luminescent full moon and her twinkling stars for the sun any day... Haha... forgive my pun. Let's see... what else? I'm traditional. I still believe that guys should formally court a girl. I believe that guys should still make harana when wooing a girl. I believe that guys should still ask a girl's father before he marries the girl. I believe that guys should still write love letters to effectively get a girl to fall for them... Haha. I don't think beauty is based on the outside. I believe that beauty isn't skin deep because I know that there must be more to a person than his/her looks. I think that hope is very healthy. I believe that the eyes are the windows to the person's soul. I believe in the independence of a woman (I'm a bit of a feminist too... teehee). I'd rather be swamped with things to do rather than be bored out of my wits.
So there. This is pretty much me in a nutshell. But like I said earlier, this isn't ALL of me yet. Ask me this question again in a couple of years and maybe I would have all the answers. As of right now, I'm still looking for the rest of me.
posted by JustANearInstanceforNurturingEveryone @ 2:19 AM
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